Sharing the light

The following is a post I added to my FaceBook page Christmas morning: ( There is more to the story – see below)

Tonight, we went to the candle light service at our church. The service ends with the congregation singing Silent Night while holding lit candles. When it comes time to light the candles, the person on the end of the pew lights their candle from the stationary candle on the end of every other row and then lights the next person’s candle from theirs. I was on the end and when it came time to light my candle from the pew candle, I had to stretch up with my right arm, which is the one with the shoulder rotator cuff damage. A pain shot through my shoulder as I held the candle to the flame. I was reminded that it is often not without pain to reach for the light of wisdom but then sharing that light with others is very rewarding. May we all reach for the light and once obtained, may we share it with others unable to obtain it on their own. Merry Christmas every one.

The preceding was my original post and as Paul Harvey would say,  ” And now, page two.”

There are many church rituals that have special spiritual  meaning to “those who have eyes to see”.  This candle lighting is symbolic of the passing of light or spiritual energy from one to another. I mentioned that it was not without pain to reach up and take the light from the church candle and make it my own. It was  necessary for me to reach out. The flame did not miraculously jump over to me.  Jesus said, “Knock and the door will be opened” he did not say, stay there and I will come get you.” You must look for the light; be it within or from an outside source.  Spiritual awareness is not simply posted for you to see as you walk by; you have to be looking for this awareness.

In the service bulletin, there was a notation that each person down the line should take their candle and light it from the other person beside them. There is a caution not to tip the lighted candle. The assumption is that this is a safety measure so you don’t spill hot wax  from the hot candle but again, this is symbolic of the process that you too must reach for the light.

Spiritual law dictates that we help if asked; answer when asked and give the energy of spirit to others, when asked.  You can not pluck up a person and lift them into awareness. They have to climb with your help. Trying to save those who are not ready to be saved is “casting seed upon barren ground”.

Those who are closer to the Light must be available when asked but it is not their responsibility to  save the world. When the student is ready, the teacher will be there.  On a more personal level, you can not learn your children’s lessons for them.  Trying to do otherwise, is a great disservice to them.  We have all seen the warning signs at parks and wildlife spaces, “Do not feed the animals”  They must learn to survive and grow on their own.  If you were to help a developing caterpillar out of his cocoon before he was fully developed, you would most surely kill him.  While it is hard to watch loved ones  struggle, it is the most beneficial thing you can do. Encourage their struggles and then praise their accomplishments.  Only then will they grow.

Christmas Letter 2015

It’s been a long year; so you might want to grab a favorite beverage and pull a comfortable chair up to the computer before getting started on this chronological dissertation. Any time you see text in green, it indicates an active link. Click on it for additional information or pictures.

If life is a roller coaster, I am feeling like the track; simply watching life’s events whiz by. Sometimes, I try to grab hold of the car so I too can enjoy the ride; but this year, it seems that every time I reached up, the car ran over my hand. Fortunately, I have a high pain tolerance. As I look at Pat’s notes for the year, they read like a script for a hospital real life drama, and Pat and I had the starring roles. Mom would be proud. At last, we made it into the theater.

Every year, I name this narrative “Christmas Letter (insert year) “ when in reality it is just yearly chapters of the chronicles of life. This year’s starting point was January 1st. I know that is where I started last year, but some ruts are just too deep to dig yourself out of. I know, that dang dangling preposition is just hanging out. Oops; the more I dig, the deeper I get. Note to self: When you find yourself in a hole, quit digging!

IMAG0433January started with an old Saladino family tradition of making homemade cheese filled ravioli. This time it was a Sriner family event. We rolled out the egg noodle dough and cut it into coffee-can-sized circles and filled them with the cheese filling. I make the sauce following Pete’s recipe only I add some flavoring. I like a meaty sauce. This was a great start for the year. Pat was recovering from her femur (thigh bone) surgery and the cancer seemed to be stabilized. The key word here is “seemed”. Surely, 2015 would be better than the health disaster we had in 2014. I was to get my knee repaired and then Pat and I could ride off into the sunset together headed for new adventures!

CUT!

Roll the credits.

It’s a wrap.

NOT SO FAST! While my torn meniscus repair went perfectly, Pat’s leg was not healing properly and she had another surgery scheduled for the end of the month. It was only January and we were already making new friends at Memorial Medical Center. The new doctor removed the nail, pin and screws from the first surgery and redid the work. This time, the nail that extended down the femur was shortened so as not to interfere with her previous knee replacement. The pin into the ball of the femur head was inserted at a different angle and location; and again Pat was to go through the long painful healing process. This time it was made worse by the invasion of the same location and the new incisions over old minimally healed scars. The 6 week preliminary healing check-up in mid-March showed healing and Pat was beginning to feel better. 4 days later, she was greeted by more hip pain. X-rays showed that the hip repair had failed! Doctor G wanted to do the surgery again using a different procedure to try to mend the cancerous hip. We asked again about a complete hip replacement and were set to have a second opinion from a hip specialist. At the last minute, he was not available. Dr. G asked him if it made any difference that the bone was cancerous. The reply from the hip specialist was, “ If it is cancerous, she has to go to a specialist either in Bloomington or St. Louis.” As Dr G recounted this conversation to us, I almost fell out of the chair. In the several discussions with the hip specialist, cancer was never mentioned? How could this be?

While all this was happening, I had my own sub-plot going with another surgeon. Tests indicated that I had an enlarged para-thyroid that was overactive causing a number of problems. Not the least of which was memory loss. . . . Hmmm, where was I going with this? Oh, neck surgery was scheduled for the middle of April because that is where the para-thyroid is located. No, the para-thyroid isn’t located in April; it is in the neck. April isn’t in the neck; the para-thyroid is. Sure glad that brain damage wasn’t permanent!

Pat had her consult with Doctor McDonald in St. Louis and surgery was scheduled for early April. This time the entire hip ball and socket would be removed and a new hip joint and upper section of the femur were to be replaced. Her surgery was on the 7th of April and mine was a week later. We were again on the mend together. Like the knee surgery before, my recovery was very short. I was out digging in the garden the next day. We had now made it through 1/3 of the year. We had spent most of our time in health facilities or recuperating at home.

As we flipped the calendar over to May, I felt like I could leave Pat for the day while I photographed the Abe Lincoln Funeral reenactment. Using my bicycle as my mode of transportation, I zipped from event to event around town. It was good to get out and the weather cooperated with a beautiful spring day. Here is a link to my pictures. http://www.dsdigitals.com/Events/Abe-Lincoln-funeral-reenactmen/ The last page contains some video clips of the procession into the cemetery. I was beginning to feel like my old self again. Note the inflection on “old”.

May, might be called the road to recovery month. Pat was healing as well as can be expected after such a major surgery. She had an incision from her hip almost to the knee. It was obvious from the first few days that this surgeon knew what he was doing. The bruising and swelling that were a big part of the previous surgeries were almost nonexistent. Pat was determined to be well enough to go to Disney World by the end of the month. May 18th, it had been six weeks post-surgery. Pat had been wearing a hip abduction brace 24-7 the entire time which restricted her hip movement. She could neither bend over nor spread her legs. I know some of you are waiting for some comic relief here and the previous sentence was just the place to insert it; however, considering the severity of the surgery and the subsequent pain, I will not discuss such an insertion here. I will pause while you make your own comments to yourself. . . . . .  With the end of the six weeks, came the six week check-up. Imagine that! At last the chastity belt was removed and Pat was now free to say, . . . .   “Disney, here we come!”

After an overnight with friends, the Dershimers in Orlando, we pointed Big Red and his pull-behind house for the Wonderful World of Disney. For the first time in over a year, we stuffed the thoughts of cancer and surgeries in a faraway cubby hole and embraced the Disney experience.

2015_florida_disney-5223-1Everyone knows it is best to see Disney World through the eyes of a child and we had that covered. You see, this trip was planned clear back at Christmas of last year; and the reason it was so special was that we would be joined by the grandkids Joshua and Emily. They brought their parents with them. What a delight it was to have them all there. With the new Star Wars movie just over the horizon, the week we were there was made even more special by the two Star Wars weekends that book ended our week there. Here is a link to our FaceBook album Star Wars Breakfast

The best way to experience Disney is through the interaction with the characters; and interaction we had! We joined the kids for 5 different character meals. While the cost was hard to swallow, it was still the most memorable part of the experience. We had breakfast at an indoor drive-in with Star Wars characters roaming through the restaurant. 2015_florida_disney-5720-Edit-2We had dinner with Disney princesses and experienced Cinderella’s step sisters up close and personal. The shrill voiced step sister grabbed Joshua out of his chair to dance.2015_florida_disney-5428-1 He just turned three shades of red and wrestled himself free only to be laid on and “Boobie whipped” from behind. 2015_florida_disney-5434-1I can still laugh just remembering it all. Watching the kids and capturing the moments digitally was the highlight of the vacation. When we were not trying to keep up with the family, Pat and I were off on our own adventures on our twin scooters. We knew Pat would be unable to walk around the grounds so soon after surgery; so, I planned on a wheel chair that I would push around. That thought didn’t rattle around my empty brain long before I thought a scooter would be easier. In the end, twin scooters were the solution. For those of us reaching the age of limited ambulation, scooters are the bomb! We had a blast zipping around. Pat would lead the way busting the crowds for me. She has practice from bumping old ladies out of the way at the grocery store with her cart. She was the queen of the scooter once on board. Needless to say, this week will go down in our book as one of the most enjoyable times ever. Our aging brain cells often have difficulty putting memories in the proper time line. Let’s see, was that when Krystal was young or was it when Kim was first experiencing Disney? Now, we can add Emily and Joshua to the mix or should I say mix-up! In any case they will be great memories.

If you follow us on FaceBook, you can see the Disney albums there. Here is a link to one album Disney Princesses .

2015_florida_disney-5385-1Additional Disney pictures can be found here.

After another night at the Dershimer family campdrive, we headed across the state; OK we were already half way across. The state of Florida is only about 20 miles across, I think. It seems unfair that one state should have two bordering water bodies. Anyway, next stop was Anastasia SP just at the edge of St Augustine, FL. It had a lovely beach where we tried several times to watch the sunset over the water. Never did get any pictures of that. Now that I think of it, St. Augustine is on the East coast of Florida. Perhaps that was the problem.

2015_Florida_trip-2252-1While in St. Augustine, we met up several times with classmate Karen Waters from Jacksonville. She was to be our tour guide. The first outing was just across the street from the campground entrance. It was the Alligator Farm which was filled with feather covered photo ops. If you have never been there, you can’t imagine how many nesting birds are squeezed into this small area. It is open for fly-ins and fly-outs so they must like it there, as they keep coming back and so will we now that we know. I thought it was all about alligators. Not so! I still have pictures I have not yet edited. Our next outing was not as successful. I think Karen was keeping the good places to herself or she just wanted to discourage our future visits; because after what seemed like an all-day drive, we turned into a wildlife refuge and saw an innumerable number of water fowl. No, it wasn’t that there were too many to count. Zero is also innumerable. I take that back, we did see some roadkill. Then to make up for the poor showing we went to another closed location and parked nearby. It was equally productive.2015_Florida_trip-2768-1 I did get a photograph of Karen photographing a big blue Heron. Talk about anti-climax after the numerous birds the day before. To make up for the lack of excitement, she took us to an amusement park called, “the Florida highway system”. The first ride was called “change the cell phone battery in your phone in the rain while driving 65” this maneuvering was necessary because she had to get directions on how to get us home. I won’t try to compare it to Mary’s driving in Texas but I will apologize for saying Mary was the worst driver I knew. Mary, I take that back! My brake foot leg is just now starting to uncramp. Nothing personal; but next time I will drive. I will say it was memorable; and I don’t remember much now days. It is just that some things like oncoming traffic on our right side leaves a lasting impression.

It was the middle of June before we got back home. It felt really good to be home; however, we didn’t have much time to enjoy it, because as soon as we could get in a hundred or more doctors’ appointments for the both of us, we were off again. This time we were headed to one of our favorite places in the country; Rocky Mountain National Park. After a couple nights on the road, we arrived at20150625_141838 Cheyenne Mountain SP in Colorado Springs. We were only there for one night; but we will certainly return. It was a Great camping spot. We were able to make it to the top of Pikes Peak the afternoon of our arrival. We could have made it to Garden of the Gods, too; but the ranger at the state park gave us bad directions to the road up to the peak. I should have listened to the GPS on this one. It was a rainy assent and there was talk of closing the road off; but we got past the gate in time and headed up. I remember the old gravel road from our first time there nearly 50 years ago; but now it was all paved. RMNP_2015_trip-6253-1YEA! On the top, the rain let up long enough for us to get out and discover we could not breathe due to the altitude. We walked 100 miles across the parking lot and went into the gift shop where Pat found the nearest bench. I went outside determined to get a few pictures. I chipped the ice off my fingers long enough to press the shutter button. It was cold and wet but beautiful and invigorating at the same time. This is one of those places you never forget. After a few shots of us in front of the Pikes Peak sign, we headed back down the mountain. By this time the weather had deteriorated even further and Nature was offering electrical fireworks in the distance. Pat was torn between taking some pictures with my camera of the storm on the way down and covering her eyes and holding on for dear life. Miraculously, she did get some good pictures of storm fronts over the mountains.

RMNP_2015_trip-6477-1After a night at the Estes Park KOA, we headed into RMNP in the morning. We had one night on our own before Kim and her friend Eric pulled in after their all-night drive.RMNP_2015_trip-6799-1 We were also joined by several school classmates. RMNP_2015_trip-6649-13After a nice afternoon visiting, we were ready for some quality rest. We had to leave the park on July 4th ; but we made the most of it and spent 2 more nights in Estes Park KOA before reentering the park for another week. Kim and friend had returned home and now it was just the 3 of us, Pat, the dog and I.

20150708_090315We had a lot of rain but we did hike some trails, saw a lot of wildlife and were able to relax for a change.

Jay and Joyce Kesinger came back up for a day and we went back up Old Fall River Road. RMNP_2015_trip-3556-1Here is Jay photographing a  beautiful Elk. He also saw his first moose up close and personal. This is what the elk thought of us!

RMNP_2015_trip-3547-1

The next leg of our journey took us to Custer SP near Mt Rushmore. 20150712_191554The park and wildlife encounters were great; but Mt Rushmore with all the new multilevel parking garages, hall of flags and mini mall extravaganza turned us both off.RMNP_2015_trip-7620-1 It was too far for Pat to walk back to the overlook; so I walked back, took a few pictures, and headed to the truck where Kira was waiting in the hot sun with the truck running and A/C going.   That was a wasted afternoon but the ride to and from was enjoyable. We spent several days camped just outside the park and enjoyed the park animals more than anything.RMNP_2015_trip-7723-1 There is something about being in the truck with hundreds of large buffalo skirting around us to put things in proper perspective.RMNP_2015_trip-3639-Edit-1 We had a great time; however, after a month on the road, we were hearing the call of our own home. The camper is nice but home is better.

We couldn’t link up with friends and relatives in Minnesota; but we did get one last short visit with Nancy and Hans Feld in Sturgeon Bay before heading to the cheese factory and home.

August was rather non-descript but it was a chance to get back into a normal groove. It was a time of regrouping before I went into work mode for the rest of the year. It was time for a project. I was trying to recuperate from some shoulder soreness after the month on the road; so, I decided I needed a project. That makes perfect sense. Some good manual labor should be good for shoulder pain. Right? My project started with some major landscaping in Kim’s back yard. Kim's_back_yard-7799-Edit-1Once that looked good, I decided it was time to replace her garage door and as projects go, one thing led to another and by the end I had replaced the big garage door, the service door, and siding on the front of the garage. A coat of paint on the trim finished up that project. Time to relax.20151015_153001 NOT SO FAST, her furnace started acting up. After many attempts to discover the problem, I decided that it would be simpler to just replace it! Did I really think that one through? Had I forgotten how much fun sheet metal work was and also how painful? I call it my hand shredder. Death by 1000 cuts was one of my descriptive posts. This was all above the head work. Remember that shoulder pain. It didn’t go away. Between that, the sliced up hands, and the numerous times I cracked my head on the low ductwork, my body looks like a war zone. It is now starting the second week of December and I am just finishing up that project. In the midst of the work cycle this year, we discovered that the supposed inactivity was not really inactive. There was evidence of further cancer activity. This necessitated a change of attack. Pat is now on a new cancer treatment which requires two additional shots along with the one she already was taking. We have them planned the end of each month so we can plan on month-long vacations during the rest of the month. We are confident she will beat this thing. We will get more results the end of this month.

I would have concluded my yearly description of events with a trip to Florida but the furnace fiasco and late delivery forced us to cancel that. Now it is time to make plans for next year.

In the past, I have concluded my narrative with some type of social observation. I have discussed everything from boiling lobsters to shrinking toilet paper. I even touched on the political climate when Governor Rod wanted to move Lincoln’s Tomb to Chicago. Recent current events sometimes make it hard to find the humor as I see a divisiveness in our country not seen since the Civil War. What ever happened to “One nation, under God, indivisible . . . . “ If we are to survive as a nation, we need to find our common ground not our differences. We were the melting pot where people from all backgrounds came together; they let their differences commingle, melting together, to where the sum was better than the individual parts. Now, nobody wants to get in the pot and give up some of their own flavor to the benefit of the stew. We are in  the selfie generation. Our phones have special selfie cameras. We have selfie sticks and selfie stickers.  Everyone wants the world centered around themselves.

In the words of Lincoln: “At what point, then, is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, If it ever reach us it must spring up amongst us; it cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen we must live through all time, or die by suicide.

Like a cancer, this fighting among ourselves serves only to weaken our resolve and in the end could easily destroy us as we lose our values and freedom in the name of a false security. “I have seen the enemy and it is us.”

May the joys of this Christmas season bring peace to the world. May the light of infinite wisdom burn brightly from within to allow us clear vision and understanding and unwavering resolve.

Love and Light,
Pat and Dulany

pat@sriner.com
dulany@sriner.com

As you can see, we are quite active on FaceBook. “Friend” us to see more pictures. You can also find picture albums on my website for DSDigitals