If you have been following my adventures, you know that I recently faced a bear in the wild while hiking the Appalachian Trail. Last weekend, I had to face my own internal bear. We all have them hidden away. Even Luke from Star Wars had to face his during his training as a Jedi Knight. Now that I have your attention, let’s get started at the beginning where all trails should start.

Our adventures this week took us to Starved Rock State Park in the North-Central part of Illinois. The park is known by the high rock formation where an Indian Tribe was starved out by another tribe. The easily defended location made attack futile but the same isolation that protected them also imprisoned them. They starved on the rock. For many, this group of rock formations were the extent of the park. This extended 4 day weekend, showed me a part of the park that I had never explored before. We spent the time hiking the many canyons along this section of the Illinois River. The weather with recent and consistent rains had kept the many springs flowing unlike most summer seasons. Every canyon had some type of waterfall at the beginning. All were flowing. It was an awesome sight. Above, this picture looks down the river toward the namesake.

We arrived at the campground Thursday around noon and set up camp. We took some time in the car to reorient ourselves to the area. We explored the nearby town of Ottawa and were captivated by the “home town” feel of the business district. Murals could be found on many of the old historic buildings. A central square advertised the location of a Lincoln-Douglas debate with statues and a surrounding fountain. I posted the video on my Face Book page with the caption that this was the location of the debate. Readers were quick to ask if the debate took place in the fountain! I suspect the fountains were an afterthought!

A relaxing campfire and large grilled hamburgers gave way to a beautiful sunset and my version of s’mores. I like one marshmallow and a Hershey square between two Lorna Dunes – yum. What a way to end the day.

Friday morning started with an outside breakfast of eggs and potatoes all mixed up. This “mixed up” turned out to be a precursor of the day to follow. We headed out first thing to the closest mall for a phone charger to replace the one left sitting on my desk at home. Then we headed to Matthiessen State Park just down the road from Starved Rock. Our thought was that these trails would be a bit easier on Pat’s knees. We took a wrong turn at the first “Y”and ended up on the interior “challenging” trail. We got to a water crossing featuring un-level, overturned stepping stones. This led to a quick retreat back up the stairs to the more level bluff trail. Another poorly marked trail divide took us back to the lower canyon trail. While this was not our intention, it was negotiable so we went on to the falls area. Pat stayed back as Kira and I made our way up the water covered trail to the base of the falls. Leaning stairs showed what the long delayed maintenance was doing to the park system. We stepped over the broken steps and made it to the top where we could look down on the low falls and back up the stream to our original destination. The water level made this trail impassible without serious wading. While Kira would love the adventure, I was not comfortable with a $3,700 camera around my neck. Again, we retreated.

Here, I have to tell you a bit about myself. I have always been very self-sufficient. I flourish in challenges but as my body ages, I have begun to feel the unusual-to-me feeling of frustration at not being able to do something. I have always been at home in the woods. I never got lost and a challenging trail was one more thing to conquer. Now, I find myself having doubts. What if I slip? What if I can’t pull myself up? What if I can’t find my way back? So, as I stood at the base of the moss covered wet rock, I chose not to go on.

Our hike back out of the canyon was complimented by the presence of another older couple (probably our age) who had also come down the wrong way. They chose not to go back in the canyon but turned back up the stairs with us. A few hundred yards up the trail, the poorly marked trail that we had missed was off to the right. I decided to take it up above the falls to the lake while Pat would head back with the other couple. Kira and I went up to the lake , took some shots and headed back down to catch up with Pat. As we passed a couple with a dog, all my attention was on Kira who is not always friendly with other dogs and I missed the trail turnoff and we went back down the trail we had just come up. When we got to the stairs, I knew I had missed the turnoff and we turned around to go back up the trail to the missed turn. The anxiety of missing numerous trails and retracing my path numerous times was surpassed by the feeling of good health. I even began to jog up the trail to make up time. This is something I have not done in years even on level ground. I was feeling good and we made up the time and met Pat at the bridge where she was patiently waiting for us.

Below us was a substantial waterfall calling to me. The older couple had gone down that direction and I decided to follow, leaving Pat on the bridge to wait for our return. We headed off to the right side of the bridge and up the trial along the ridge of the canyon. About a mile down the trail, there was a set of steps. I heard someone say there were 130 steps. I didn’t count. At the base of the steps, there was a foot bridge across the canyon and then another set of steps going round and round like a high-rise stairwell. At the base, was the often muddy canyon floor. We headed up the canyon to the base of the falls and took our pictures. It was worth the walk. High above, Pat stood waving from the bridge above. (click on picture to see larger version) I soaked in the energy of the falling water. It is the closest thing to ocean waves. There is such power. The trip back up the canyon was a little easier as I knew where to go and how to avoid some of the mud. We reached the stairs. Round and round we went up the 8 – 10 flights of stairs. As we exited the stairwell, I saw the familiar wood steps that would take us the rest of the way out of the canyon. At the top, I glanced over at the map to my left but knew I had to turn right to head back to the bridge. Off we went down the trail. The woodsy trails all look the same so there were no discerning markings but it seemed like a lot further back than it was getting there. We walked on and on thinking the bridge and Pat were right around the bend or behind the trees. They were not. Then I saw a metal gate ahead. I didn’t remember it but it was probably by the turnoff to the bridge. I was wrong again. A sign indicated we were leaving this section of the park. Fortunately, there was a map there. We had gone the wrong way after leaving the canyon. It was a couple miles back to the stairs and then about a mile more to the bridge. AS I tried to quicken my step to hurry our journey, I had to face the fact that perhaps I no longer could trust myself in the woods. Had I not had a map to guide me back the way I came, I would have been lost. I told myself that I couldn’t go into the woods without a GPS unit because I lost track of direction. Was this the beginnings of Alzheimer’s? Would I get lost on the way to the grocery store? While you read this, you might chuckle but I assure you I was not laughing. My Mom has Dementia and the prospect of ending up there is terrifying. There was a lot of soul searching as I walked back toward the stairs and eventually the bridge where Pat waited, frightened by our delayed return.

“You made the loop around, I see” she said questioning. Then I realized I had come back on the left side of the bridge. It wasn’t until that point that I realized what I had done. I had come up on the opposite side of the canyon so my trail back required a left turn not a right turn. Then the pieces started to fall into place. I didn’t remember crossing the foot bridge on the way back. The circular stairwell steps had disoriented me and I was too hyped up on endorphins and adrenalin to properly be aware of my surroundings and where I had come and where I was going.

So, was this a premonition? A warning? or an early symptom? I don’t know. Should I invest in a handheld GPS? Probably. Did my concern and attention directed toward Kira throw my senses off? I don’t know.

I forced myself back on the trail alone that afternoon for some needed self confidence and I didn’t get lost. Another hike Sunday morning also resulted in success but I was fortunate enough to have another couple to guide me over an unmarked trail after we ventured to the upper falls above Illinois canyon. Had they not been ahead of me on the trail, I probably would have stopped and retraced my path back to the familiar canyon floor. I lost something that day. It was the self confidence I always have had in the woods. If you see me wandering aimlessly at the reunion, just point me back to the food table.

I’ll be researching a hand held GPS very soon. After a quick search, I ordered a new handheld GPS unit. I’m not taking any chances. Perhaps this unit will have the meat section at the grocery store as a way point.

Next post, we will be finishing up our adventures in Shenandoah National Park where we hike to one of the many waterfalls. See you then. Assuming I can find my way back to this computer.

You can find more Starved Rock pictures on my FaceBook page.